Five Things I Am Proud Of

  1. I paid off a student loan today! In my marriage, we now have two federal student loans in good standing that we are paying off, plus three credit cards. We are on track to pay off at least one credit card by the end of 2016! We paid off another loan in December, so that is going pretty well, I’d say. Our goal is to only have ONLY our consolidated federal student loan debt before we take on a mortgage, which is looking more and more doable.
  2. I have a full-time job and I show up for it and get paid! I mean, I’ve usually had that, but that is something to be proud! A regular source of income is hugely beneficial to myself and my family.
  3. I have not bought any new clothes in 2016, yet. The clothes I am looking at investing in will be a little more expensive than what I usually buy, but they will fit well (or be tailored), be simple in style, color and silhouette so that they fit in my capsule wardrobe/work uniform project I have going on, and be a higher quality, hopefully lasting longer.
  4. I did so much laundry yesterday and hung a quarter of it to air dry, saving money and making the quality of those items stretch out longer.
  5. We finally remembered to give our dog his flea treatment and combed his fur out a little bit. It needs more combing, but it’s a start!
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My Car

If I keep up my habit of taking everything I brought into my car out of my car PLUS one additional item, my car will be cleaned out by 2019.

I have long term goals, don’t say that I don’t!

Humble Pie

This week I had to, wait no, I was finally ABLE to ask for help. I asked my husband if he could make appointments for me with my primary care physician and my psychiatrist and then take time off to take me to them. He did so, gladly. I don’t know why I was so afraid to ask for help. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to admit that getting myself to the doctor was something exhaustion and anxiety was preventing me from accomplishing.

Thankful and grateful and humbled right now.

None of The Sleep and All of The Feels

So far, I’m averaging an hour and a half of REM sleep a night. NOT GOOD.

I powered through so much at the end of 2015 and then 2016 started up without me being able to process it. So naturally it all blew up in my face and I had a MAJOR panic attack and spent two days sleeping. And I’m still tired and still anxious. And unhappy. And not sure how to make myself happy.

CURSE YOU, 2016!

*sigh* life is hard.

2016: The Year I Get Better Sleep

Well, I bet you can guess what my 2016 New Year’s resolution is! GET MORE AND BETTER SLEEP.

January is “Better Sleep Boot Camp” for me and I’m trying to work hard to rest well. My number one enemy: falling asleep. It can take me upwards of an hour to fall asleep. Nodding off quickly and completely has NEVER been easy for me, even as a kid. I’ve been on various prescription medications to help me fall asleep (and some to help me stay asleep), but they haven’t been┬áthe most helpful or permanent solutions. They came with side effects that were too much to handle and sometimes didn’t even do their job (Xanax, I’m looking at you – you relaxed me but didn’t do much else, ya jerk).

Things I’m trying right now:

  • no caffeine after 3pm
  • regular bedtime (10pm)
  • no phone or computer after 9pm
  • reading (not on my phone) if I cannot sleep
  • petting the dog if I cannot sleep
  • Advil PM (I know – this is just more medication! But I gotta fall asleep and I gotta do it in less than 2 hours)

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Happy New Year

WE DID IT!

I’ve ensured we will meet a HUGE year end goal at work (well, not just me, everyone on my team at work). IT FEELS GREAT! Grateful for the others making it possible.

But now, all the adrenaline is GONE from my body and I am pooped! Naps are in order. Then: STAR WARS: The Force Awakens at the El Capitan Theatre in Hollywood. Wonderful reward!